The thought struck me last last week that Sunday would be a celebration not only for Troy, but also for Rihanna, as this would be the first Father's Day that she would have a father to celebrate! How neat!! I was warmed all day long Sunday by that thought, and I kept thinking of Psalm 68 and Psalm 146 which talk about how God is the kind of God who sees and takes care of the fatherless. And sometimes He gives them a father! Yay God!
All is well here in the Burwell home, and getting better every week as we continue to adjust. Rihanna is developing in her speaking, sharing, dealing with conflict, and showing respect. Don't get me wrong...there is a long way to go...but she is progressing for sure. And mommy is progressing in learning to do HER HAIR! My friend Pamela Stringfield came over last week with hair products and talked me through the best way to wash, condition, comb, and style Rihanna's hair. (Thank you Pamela!) I keep telling Ri, "Mommy is going to learn how to do your hair really pretty...I promise!" So, I am practicing now....for her sake, I hope I will prove to be a quick learner.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
What I want to say to Rihanna's Birthmom
Our (wonderful and awesome) adoption agency encourages "semi-open" adoptions, which means that we as adoptive parents may get to meet the birthmothers of our children, and that we communicate with them via letters and pictures for the first 18 years of the children's lives. What that means practically is that during the first year that we have the child, we will typically send a letter and pictures to the agency (who will then forward them to the birthmoms) either quarterly or monthly, depending on the birthmom's request. Then every year after that we will send an annual packet of pictures with an update on how that year went and how the child grew.
I really love this aspect of adoption, because I am grateful that the birthmom has chosen us to parent her child and this is one way that I can give back to her, since she has given so much to our family.
So...it is time to write the first letter to Ri's birthmom.
It is hard to know what to write because our joy is, in a sense, her pain. We are thrilled to have Ri, but in order for us to have her, SHE had to lose her. I just thought you may want to read some excerpts of what we will send to her, and you can lift up a prayer that the Lord will use this to encourage her and affirm her decision to do something that was very hard because she wanted more for her daughter. Most of the letter consisted of me sharing what Rihanna's relationship with each of our family members has been like so far:
Rihanna and me…I love that girl. I love to get her in my lap and snuggle. I like to read to her, sing with her (or listen to HER sing, depending on what mood she is in!), scratch her back. She is so teachable and wants to learn all kinds of things. We have been sitting down with flash cards and learning animals and letters and numbers, and she just really wants to press through and learn them, and I am so proud of her. I am thanking God for her all the time.
Lastly, just wanted to note that the picture above is from our "placement day" last Thursday. That is when you sign a bunch of official papers that say, we commit to take care of this little girl legally until the day that we appear before a judge and request to take care of her forever. It is a fun day because the agency staff celebrate with us and pray with us. The woman holding Cate in the picture is Jill, our dear caseworker. Also, Loren Rae is in the picture, to my left. She was the one who first put Will into my arms on October 8, 2008, so she too is dear to us.
I really love this aspect of adoption, because I am grateful that the birthmom has chosen us to parent her child and this is one way that I can give back to her, since she has given so much to our family.
So...it is time to write the first letter to Ri's birthmom.
It is hard to know what to write because our joy is, in a sense, her pain. We are thrilled to have Ri, but in order for us to have her, SHE had to lose her. I just thought you may want to read some excerpts of what we will send to her, and you can lift up a prayer that the Lord will use this to encourage her and affirm her decision to do something that was very hard because she wanted more for her daughter. Most of the letter consisted of me sharing what Rihanna's relationship with each of our family members has been like so far:
Rihanna and Cate…well, they fought hard for a week but after that they have really started to adore each other. They share clothes a lot. They pretend to do each other’s hair. They bathe each other in the “bubble tub” as Ri calls it. They play house and dolls. They whisper and sing and giggle when I put them to bed, since they share a bunk bed. They love to get into trouble together. I call them my little “ebony and ivory”. (Do you remember that old 80’s song?) Anyways, they are too cute and I pray that they just get closer and closer.
Rihanna and Will…They are so close in age, and so they are both learning a lot of the same things…how to use words when upset, rather than hitting or kicking or spitting, for example. I think that Will has been jealous some, because he feels like Ri-Ri and Cate are SO close now, and so he has given Ri-Ri a hard time sometimes, BUT lately I think he is turning a corner and all of that is getting better. This morning, he ran up to Ri and said, “Good morning Ri! Good to see you!” And then he leaned over and kissed her. Ah, my heart just melted. And then, knowing he had done a good thing, he stood back up, clapped his hands and shouted, “yay, Will!!”
Rihanna and Daddy… I have to tell you that I think that my husband hung the moon. He is the best daddy ever. And he is winning Ri-Ri’s heart. She runs for the door every afternoon when he comes home from work, jumps in his arms and yells, “Hey, DADDY!!” She loves to get a piggy-back ride from him or to sit in his lap. She wants to talk to him on the phone when he calls to check on us. It is neat to see her learning to trust him.
Lastly, just wanted to note that the picture above is from our "placement day" last Thursday. That is when you sign a bunch of official papers that say, we commit to take care of this little girl legally until the day that we appear before a judge and request to take care of her forever. It is a fun day because the agency staff celebrate with us and pray with us. The woman holding Cate in the picture is Jill, our dear caseworker. Also, Loren Rae is in the picture, to my left. She was the one who first put Will into my arms on October 8, 2008, so she too is dear to us.
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