Dear Favorite People,
Are you like me...looking forward to looking backward? Can't wait till the pandemic is in your rearview mirror? Awaiting the time when thousands of people don't die from Covid-19 every day? Anxious to give up your recently acquired career of home-schooling parent? Tired of smelling the inside of a mask? Yes, yes, I see those heads nodding.
My faith informs my belief that God is in all of this, and that he is doing a lot of really good things in and through our suffering. I really cling to that belief every. single. day.
Meanwhile, I am trying to LOOK FOR the good He is doing. I think a lot about this question: "What will we think when we look back on this time?" Answering that grows my gratitude and calms my anxiety. (small pandemic miracle: have not had to up my dosage, if you know what I mean!)
So here is what I will think when I look back:
*That was really cool when my kids had the experience of being BORED, realizing that boredom is not the end of the world.
*I liked staying home for most of the weekend...it felt very refreshing.
*Humans can really solve problems when we want to. And there sure are some extra-smart science-and-doctor-types out there.
*I liked getting to know my kids more. They have great personalities.
*That was the time that confirmed my worst fear: I literally have no control over anything.
*It also confirmed my greatest hope: I sure am glad that God does.
*Sleeping 9-10 hours a night was awesome. Man, sleep is really good for me, huh?
*Freedom to stand near people, hug them, shake hands...I really missed that. We really ARE built for community.
*Worshiping with my family here at home...wow, I will never forget watching my kids dance to church songs.
*God bless the Starbucks drive thru. Oh, and Target.
*I loved having a whole hour every morning to drink coffee, read my Bible, and write in my journal.
*I grew in my technological prowess as a middle school teacher, forced to step up my lessons digitally.
*Suffering shows what people's characters are really made of, for good or for bad.
*If that didn't prove that I was not made to home-school, then nothing will!
I know my experience comes no where close to the hardships that many people have had. We still have our jobs and we didn't get the virus. Many people (maybe many of you) will have much more meaningful things to look back on. Your character, no doubt, has grown much more than mine.
Lastly, I will say this...as a teacher, I look forward to reuniting with my beautiful 6th graders, to see what transformations they have gone through. I expect them to be different. I am not sure what that will look like. But I feel that suffering always makes one deep and emotionally-rich, and these kids are living through different levels of suffering right now. If this time is changing ME, then no doubt it is changing them too. And in some weird way, I am happy that they got to change like this in their teens, rather than waiting till their 30's. Okay, 40's. I am in my 40's. There, I said it.
And what about you? How are you changing? And what do you think you will say when you look backward?!
Can't wait to see you all and give you a big, fat hug.
love, Cathy