Her laid-back-ness was obvious in utero...due on January 21, she showed up 10 days late! (Ouch!!). And barely made it at all in the month of January, busting out at 9pm. I pushed hard, because THIS WAS A JANUARY BABY, dang it!
Born to King Planner and His Hottie Wife, Queen Planner, this sweet thing tries hard to help us loosen up some! Last night at dinner, with just 7 days till her birthday, Daddy begged her to come up with a plan for celebrating. COME ON CATE, WE ONLY HAVE SEVEN DAYS TO PLAN THIS. (Dang it again!)
Catherine Joan (named for Troy Burwell's wife and mom, the two greatest women in his life) has taught me a book's worth about motherhood. Someday I may write the whole book, but for your viewing pleasure, I will just include two lessons-in-mothering here:
The first one I dedicate to those among us who have babies or toddlers. How many times did people tell me how much I would adore this child! "You will never have known a love like this before! You won't believe it! You will love her so much that it hurts!" So imagine my insecurity when I in fact did not feel that way AT ALL. I mean, I definitely loved her. And liked her. But "love her so much that it hurt"? The only things that hurt were my nipples! But here is the thing...love grows. Those dear people telling me about this "love" had been mothering their kids for 10,000 days! I only had 13 under my belt, and I was expecting a lot of myself. Love grows. That little girl gets another piece of my heart every day. NOW I get it. Love takes time. Give yourself at least another thousand days before you get worried, Mamas.
The next thought is this...the things that make me proud of her are not what I expected. I had an awesome Mama-is-so-proud moment this past July when my girl was in the National American Miss Pageant; new to this whole kind of experience (and wearing a $16 consignment dress, because I am FRUGALICOUS) she placed in the top 15 of 125 girls. I mean, she practically won! I was quite proud. But then something happened a few months later that made me twice as proud....
Late on a school night, while the other kids slept and Mama and Daddy laid in bed Netflixing, Cate quietly knocked and entered. Tears came quickly as she confessed something very wrong that she had done. She had tried to keep it a secret, but the guilt was killing her. I think she thought we would pull out all the stops....grounded for a month, sweet probation for a year, no more Christmas presents for the rest of her life...but honestly, I have never been prouder. She admitted her sin! She was broken over it! She wanted to repent; she did not want to ever do this again. She saw the damage it did. This was the answer to a million prayers, that my girl would "see her sin and know her need for Jesus Christ." The Hound of Heaven would not let her get away with it! We had no idea, but HE KNEW. And He worked in her heart. That is a God job. I try and try, but all I can do is mold behavior (and if you have ever been around my kids for more than 10 minutes, it would have become clear that I am not even especially good at that). Only God can change a heart. I don't want a Beauty Queen. I want a humble child with a God-changed heart, who knows she is a sinner who needs forgiveness.
