THAT is a statement my kids hear, at least every other day, in the Burwell home. And we are! Just come over for, well, ten minutes and the "Messed-Up" becomes very obvious. We kick, we pinch, we slap, we tease, we bully. We say things like, "I wish I still lived with my BIRTHMOM instead of YOU." Or, "I wish we didn't get so many kids all the time!" Or, one of my all-time favorites, "You are only my THIRD FAVORITE MOTHER." (This from a Burwell who does indeed have three moms and clearly, she ranks them periodically.)
Sadly, it isn't just the children who are Messed-UP; yep, it is the parents too (especially the mom. Babe, on the other hand, is not nearly so Messed-Up. Plus he is HOT and that goes a long way, my people!) I have to apologize to one or more of my kiddos every day, as my Messed-Up-Ness has sneaked back out. (I am much better at hiding mine than they are; in fact, some of YOU may have never seen it! Trust me. It is there. Ask my "family of origin". Or at least, that is what my therapist always called them.)
Now, I have to tell you that when I was growing up, I dreamed of being a mom! In my dreams, things never looked quite like they have actually turned out. In my dreams, I drive a dream-mini-van (as opposed to a 2003 Odyssey that is currently blue-book valued at, wait for it...$500. No I did not leave out a zero just now). I listen to dream-music (probably 80's hits) spill out of the speakers. We all smile our dream-smiles (with perfectly straight teeth, because who ever dreamed of paying out $300/month for braces!?). I tell my dream-children how very much that I love them, and they say something to the effect of, "No, WE love YOU. We could not be more blessed than we are to have YOU. And now, will you please teach us more about God and Jesus?"
But my people, my dream is but a dream! I tell you that Reality is Messed-Up. (It is at this point that I wish my descriptors did not have to be PG rated! But go ahead and think that word in your head. Yep. Say it like it is!). And how did Reality get like this? Because, back to my original confession ("We are some Messed-Up People!"), Reality consists of those who are Messed-Up and the Messed-Up things that we do. In our house we call it "sin". Others may say, mistakes, weaknesses, bad choices, stupid decisions! It all looks the same, no matter what we call it. Messed-Up Me loves myself, wants the best for myself, and is committed to defending and protecting myself. You can imagine the trouble that these qualities get me into! And I see said-qualities in my kids; apparently they are not genetic, because even our three adopted are Messed-Up.
So, like I said, a few times a week we tell our kids how Messed-Up we all are. But then we offer them hope. Christmas is the perfect time to talk about the Un-Messed-Up One who can fix us and "fit us for heaven" as the carol goes. I can't imagine the Mess we would be without Him!!!!
But for now, we keep confessing our Messed-Up-Ness and praying to change. I encourage you to join me in this! Go ahead, embrace the Mess! (Don't we all have it?! Please tell me yes, or I am going to feel REALLY Messed-Up!). And remember, if you need to feel a little better about YOUR mess, come to our house! We are the house with the screaming and kicking children inside; if you forget our house number, just hang your head out the window and listen for us.