Thirty-One Years of Ya-Yas

Meet my besties.

We are the Ya-Yas.  Forget the book.  We are much better.  We are Jesus-loving, Berry-College grads.  We are wives and moms (12 kids among us); we are teachers, entrepreneurs, gardeners, cooks, theologians, musicians, and we have beautiful hair and smiles.  (If we do say so ourselves.)

The ya-yas "start" in 1990.  I befriend Melissa (Post) Kim in the spring of my senior year in high school.  We both venture to a scholarship competition at Berry College, where I am dying to attend!  God acts in my behalf and I get the scholarship money AND the new friend.

Fast forward a few short months...I meet Kristi (Cliatt) Hill during the first week of my freshman year at Berry College.  As life is often not what you or I expect, she ends up being a friend for life, even as I near 50.  (Shhh!!  Don't tell ANYONE my age.  My middle schoolers truly think that I am in my 30's.  And I for one am NOT going to correct them.)  

A couple of years later, I decide that I want April (Michael) Piper in my life, because Melissa and Kristi know and adore her.  So I kind of "friend-stalk" her and announce that we are going to be friends.  To her credit, this does not freak her out.  I take this as a sign that she is just my kind of girl.

Somehow we become a foursome.  

Now, I need to be honest with you and you need to promise not to be angry about this....I feel sorry for you that you don't get to be besties with my besties.  These ladies are hands down the bestest e-vah.  I remember that, after meeting them, my dad tells me that most people do not find even ONE such amazing friend in their lifetime, but that I have found three.  

Trips, phone calls (remember those?), emails, texts, Marco Polos, quarterly-ish gatherings, year after year.  I want these women in my life for life.  I want them singing over me as I go from this life to the next some day.  

We do not have to tell the "back-story" to any story.  We know the back-story.  We lived it with each other, after all.  We do first jobs, engagement rings, wedding plans, pregnancies, potty-training, elementary years, the teens, and now we have our first batch of petite ya-yas applying to college.  

Ya-yas, you know I do not always text back, and I currently am 14 Marco Polos behind, but you are my sisters and my family of choice.  Praise God for you, women.  Thank you for knowing me so well and still liking me.  

And it is time to plan our next trip!

Two Ways to Look at 2021

There are two ways to look at, well, nearly everything!  One can choose to see the negative or the positive, the pain or the gift.

By way of example, let's talk about 2021.  Here are my negative thoughts on those days when I am forgetting that there is a God in heaven who orchestrates all things:

This year has been even worse than last year...as if THAT were possible!...but apparently it is.  I had to teach almost all year in a mask.  This alone makes for a bad year.  People are so afraid of this virus and continue to walk around in fear.  Inflation is up almost 7% in Atlanta.  My 2% raise doesn't help a lot with that.  Gas is ridiculous.  In fact, the economy is on the verge of who knows what. And people, things are only going to get worse. I have three hormonal teenagers sulking around the house.  I am pretty sure that my fifth grader is the only one around here that still likes me.  Troy has been gone a lot, taking kids on trips and visiting his mom in Mississippi, which leaves me holding down the fort more than I would like.  I still weigh the same thing I weighed last year, despite effort to weigh less.  My son's football team scored once, ONCE, all season long.  I am like a free Uber service for my kids on some days, taking them here and there.  And speaking of driving, I swear I came inches away from being t-boned on Jones Bridge Road, just days ago.

Are you depressed yet?

Let me now describe the very same year in a very different way.

2021 has been another year of blessing for us.  I was able to continue teaching 6th graders, which I adore, and I even got to take my mask off about a month ago.  Things feel almost back to normal.  Vaccinations are available for nearly every age, and they are helping us to return to national health.  I work for a county who recognizes that teachers should be honored, and so I will soon receive a mid-year bonus and a mid-year raise.  That will really help combat rising prices.  I have four healthy children who are growing stronger.  Despite being in the throes of puberty, they are making friends, passing (most of) their classes, and loving their church small groups.  Will adored playing football this year and even got to try his hand at quarter-backing during one game.  Troy is truly the best dad ever and has taken both Cate and Alana on daddy-daughter trips this year.  Not to mention that he is an amazing son and regularly goes to see his mama.  My health is great and I have hardly been sick all year.  Our home is secure, our cars still work (despite almost qualifying as "antiques"), and my Accord's brakes held up a few weeks ago so that I stopped inches before being t-boned on Jones Bridge Road.  

See, same year, different lenses.  When I remember that a good Father is chasing after me with goodness and mercy (to quote Psalm 100), I see a whole different story.

That said, what has YOUR 2021 been like?

Things I Was Wrong About

Before I go confessing things that I have been wrong about, perhaps I should declare some things that I was totally RIGHT about: 

*Troy Burwell is indeed the Greatest. Husband. E-vah.  

*Teaching middle-schoolers is infinitely easier than parenting them. 

*My kindle reader is quite the wise investment. 

*Adoption is a good adventure to be on. 

*Jesus is the best, best, best!

 

But there are a few things in my life that I have been totally, completely, laughably wrong about.   

I will never forget the scene:  It is 1994 and I am sitting in my Rome, Georgia apartment with my BFF Kristi.  She tells me about a conversation she has recently had with her dad: 

Kristi: “You know how my dad knows a lot about computers?  He told me about the coolest thing that is coming soon!” 

Me: “Yeah?  What is it??” 

Kristi:  “They are calling it the ‘world wide web’.  It is a way to connect computers across the world, so that you could write a letter on a computer here in Georgia and the computer can send it to England, for example!” 

Me: “Really?  Hm.” 

Kristi:  “And you can put information about a store or product on this web and people could use their computers to get to it.” 

Me:  “Where is this ‘web’?” 

Kristi: “It’s like in the air.” 

Me: “Really??  Okay, I am just going to go ahead and say it:  Mark my words, that will NEVER work.  I’m sorry, but it just won’t.” 

 

Another scene that comes to mind happened not too long ago, early February 2020.  Troy-Babe and I are sitting in bed (like old people) reading, while the news drones in the background.  Suddenly Babe remembers a news story from earlier... 

Babe: “Oh my gosh, have you heard about this virus that has popped up in China?” 

Me: “Nope.  No idea what you are talking about.” 

Babe: “Well, they say it is really bad, and that it is coming to the US, and it could affect a lot of people.” 

Me: “They always say that stuff.” 

Babe: “But this one seems to be different.” 

Me: “Mark my words, that virus will be no big deal.” 

 

Fast forward to summer of 2021.  Without going into detail, I will just say that I have not seen my mom in twelve years.  Long ago, I thought to myself: “I am never going to have a relationship with my mom again.  Mark my words.  And that makes me very sad.”   

Suddenly in mid-June, she reaches out to me, as my stepdad Jim is dying of cancer.  She says that I and my family can come see them both.  She meets my crazy-but-beautiful children.  She takes me to the room where my stepdad lays dying, and I try to talk to him about being right with God before he dies.  (He is such a good man but has never really wanted a relationship with God.  Since he is soon leaving this earth for eternity, that is concerning to me.)  I find out that his close friend Mike has been talking God-talk with him and his perspective has changed, to say the least!   

Jim does indeed die within days of that conversation, but it is my belief that he is happily with God now.  (Don’t get all mad at me for being religious.  Aren’t we supposed to practice “tolerance”, people?!)   

And I am happily spending time with my mom again.  Plus she is getting to know my kids.  We have gotten to spend a lot of time reconnecting and I have really enjoyed it!  Mark my words, friends and family:  I am so glad that this is one more thing that I was very wrong about!

(The picture above is Cate and me with my Mom; we are at the Clanton, Alabama Airfield at my stepdad's memorial.)